I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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