is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Randomize
