last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
