I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
