listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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