I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
why do cheetos always look like penises
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
