I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize