She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
