those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
