I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
