Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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