Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
