When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize