Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
