Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
