The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
