Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just pee around me
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
