The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
After last night, I could never be a politician.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
