looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
