Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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