people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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