so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
