I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
