Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
