no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
