he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
