That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
