wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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