bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
