Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
