No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize