im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
