you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
