Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
