drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
