Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
