Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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