I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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