all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
