i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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