I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
