We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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