lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
