i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
