Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
