I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
