U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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