And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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