why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
