I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
