I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
