I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
