your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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