I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
