just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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