you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
