I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
