Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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