We're like a lot better than the average bears
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
